I’m in Austin with my friend Olivia Tiedmann, who’s a professionally trained chef — which is good, because I chop like shit. I usually just make it up as I go, so she’s giving me a crash course in knife skills (with tequila involved, obviously).

She’s calm and technical; I’m impatient and chaotic. But we got there — shallots, garlic, parsley, and a lot of laughter. If you’ve ever been scared of your knife, this one’s for you.

KNIFE SKILLS 101

1. Start with a sharp knife. If it’s dull, nothing else matters.

2. Slice shallots by trimming the ends and cutting cleanly — no hacking.

3. For garlic, smash first, then chop fine. Be gentle, but commit.

4. Roll parsley or cilantro into a bundle and chop with forward motion — not straight down.

5. A little stem is fine. It tastes like more parsley.

6. Keep your fingers tucked, stay confident, and accept you’ll get nicked eventually. It’s part of the process.

MY TIPS

• Sharp knife = confidence. A dull one just slows you down.

• Forward motion, not pressure. Let the knife do the work.

• Stop picking your herbs. Stems are flavor.

• Fearless chopping comes from repetition (and maybe tequila).